Thursday, March 22, 2007

Harry Potter and The Thing... You Know... The Thing

Title: Harry Potter and The Thing... You Know... The Thing
Rating: PG -13, for a strange thing you should find out later
Genre: Adventure, Comedy, I don't know...
Language: English
Timeline: Ten months after Book 6
Universe: This is definitely an Alternate Universe.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong to JK Rowling and Warner Bros (although I twisted them a lil bit)Title credits goes to myself.
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It had been about ten months, seven days, four hours, twenty five minutes, thirty three seconds, and twenty six milliseconds since Dumbledore’s death. Everything had changed. But yet, Lord Voldemort was still at large. The killings had stopped, somehow. Nobody had the slightest idea of why. Harry sat alone on the rusty chair in Hog’s Head, persistently kept drinking the seventh goblet of Fire Whisky (with some ice, actually). His head was spinning around. Harry had never been so hopeless in his entire life. His quest to destroy Voldemort’s Horcruxes had been a dead end. Literally. His two best friends, Ron and Hermione, had left him alone, with reasons Harry would never understand. Ron said that he would rather join the Weird Sister than helping Harry conquering Voldemort, which he did. Ron wasn’t even a “sister”. What had happened to him? And Hermione was a different case, too. He met Viktor Krum that day, who eagerly asked her to marry him as soon as he learned that Hermione’s dad leaving her with a large amount of gold, I mean, dollars. They got married right away, leaving both Harry and Ron in a mind-numbing shock.

Harry felt so awful that he couldn’t resist it anymore. He needed to let it out. With the top of his lung, he sang,

My loneliness is killing me (And I..)

I must confess I still believe…

“Still believe…!!!” shouted the barman in front of him. Harry woke up. He sat again and looked at his goblet, avoiding the gaze from the barman who seemed to find Harry extremely interesting.

If Harry was to journey alone, he didn’t mind. It’s his wish from the beginning. And he also knew that those two had given up their hope in finding the Horcruxes and Voldemort, so he wouldn’t blame them. But Harry wished to have more help from the other members of the Order, or ex-member for what it’s worth. Tonks, Arthur, Mad-Eye, and even Lupin had been as much help as Ron and Hermione. Harry remembered the countless times when he approached them, asking for hints about the Horcruxes, R.A.B, or the whereabouts of Snape or Voldemort. All they said was the same dull thing.

“Find the Thing.”

Find the Thing? Well… Thanks a lot. It was a VERY clear hint! Totally not vague at all!

Harry took another sip from his goblet. Then a snakelike fire came out of his nostril, and a mysterious chemical gas came thru his butt. Harry fell into his hands, trying to sleep. He didn’t know what to do from there. It’s over. Voldemort had won.

Out of nowhere, a man with a veil wrapped all over his head appeared from behind. He then sat next to Harry and ordered something to drink. Harry didn’t care who that man was, but yet he looked up and catch a glimpse of that man’s face. Merlin’s Beard! It’s Dumbledore!

“Professor?” said Harry in a low voice.

That man turned his head to face Harry. He had the old crooked nose and the half-moon spectacles on his face. It’s no wrong. He’s Dumbledore!

“Ow.. Harry! Blimey Harry! I… I… what are you doing here?” Dumbledore seemed a little shy, his expression was as if he’d been caught doing something wrong.

“What? What about you? I mean, shouldn’t you be like….dead?” replied Harry in such an astonishing voice.

“Well.. that one was a fake. I mean, the death. Snapey did curse me with Avada, but I could block that spell easily, Harry. Don’t underestimate my intelligence.”

“What? I don’t. I .. but....Snapey?” Harry cast a look that was… well.. indescribable. “But what about the body? On the ground?”

“That was someone else’s corpse. I polijuiced it.” Said Dumbledore, grinning.

“What?? And the locket?” asked Harry. “The fake locket I took from you? Was that a fake as well?”

“What? Yeah. It was. This locket here.. is the real one.” Harry saw a locket that was hung around his neck as a necklace. “Turned out it wasn’t a horcrux after all. I found a note within it. This locket was concealed as a future gift from Lord Voldemort to someone he loved.”

As Harry said nothing, stunned, Dumbledore went on, “Look, I found a love letter inside it.”

Dumbledore opened the letter and read it out loud.

“Dear my love. I know it’ll be long before I can convince you my true love. But I save this locket as a gift for you, so you can really understand how much you mean to me. I love you. Lord Voldemort.”

Harry looked at Dumbledore with an opened mouth. But then he struggled to continue asking.

“But what? Why did you have to die? Why didn’t you help me? I thought we’re in this together!” demanded Harry.

“We were. But I’ve retired, Harry. I’m an old man. I can’t fight no more. It’ll be your job to finish him.”

On this, Harry gave him a sad look.

“I can’t, Professor! No one would help me. I don’t know what to do. Please, tell me what to do.” begged Harry hopelessly.

“Harry, listen to me. I’m going to tell you the most dangerous secret of Lord Voldemort. This will help you to destroy Voldemort in the end.”

“What? What?” asked Harry the most eagerly. This was what he had hoped for a long time. A helping hand from Albus Dumbledore.

“You should find the thing, you know, the thing.” answered Dumbledore in a very serious tone.

“WHAT THING?!” Harry began to lose it.

“That thing, you know.. that thing…” insisted Dumbledore.

“But I don’t know! What thing?!” cried Harry. He was even more hopeless than before.

“If you don’t know, I can’t help you.” said Dumbledore flatly.

“Well. Then I guess you can’t help me after all.” said Harry as he turned his back on Dumbledore. He started to walk out the door. “I give up. I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

As Harry reached the door, he heard a lament came from nowhere. A Phoenix’s Lament. It was eerily played, and Harry thought that he caught a familiar music out of it. It’s like he knew, like someone was singing the lament inside him…

I can’t live…. if living is without you…

I can’t live…. I can’t live anymore….

I can’t live…. if living is without you…

I can’t give… I can’t give anymore…

Despite the strong Mariah Carey’s song, Harry went on. He left Hog’s Head. He left Dumbledore. He left everything.

***


It was night. Harry stood alone in front of his parent’s tomb in Godric's Hollow. The graveyard’s empty. The wind was strong. It blew Harry’s beard which started to look like Osama bin Laden’s.

“Hello Harry.”

Harry turned around abruptly. Voldemort was standing alone in a black cape. His eyes were gleaming with pleasure Harry could never understand.

“Voldemort.” said Harry calmly. “You must be careful. There are people out there hunting your horcruxes down.” said Harry sarcastically.

“Horcruxes? Do you mean this?” and then he drew six objects from his pocket. There were a Barney’s doll, a green shirt, a Dragon Ball comic, a N 93i Nokia cell phone, and two copies of Don Brown’s Da Vinci Code. Harry looked at the two novels and confused.

“Oh, that’s my favourite, you know…” said Voldemort after realizing what Harry was looking at. “I love Robert Langdon.”

“What about the diary? The Gaunt Ring? The snake?” demanded Harry.

“Oh, those were decoys.” said Voldemort grinningly.

“Are you here to kill me?” asked Harry indifferently.

“Kill you? Of course not.” said Voldemort in a shock.

“What? Torture me?”

“No.”

“Kick me?”

“Nope.”

“Bite me?” said Harry terrifyingly. Now he’s scared.

“I’m not going to do anything to you. I just wanna talk to you.” explained Voldemort.

“Well, let’s talk.” Harry turned his back on him.

“I.. I .. er I’m sorry I had to kill Lily Potter, Harry. I kinda had to. The prophecy stated so..”

“I know what the prophecy said. So you can just finish your job.” interrupted Harry.

“It’s not the prophecy. What you heard in Dumbledore’s office was a fake.”

“What?” snapped Harry astounded.

“Yeah… Er.. Trelawney actually said, ‘The Dark Lord shall mark him as his soulmate, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other refuses...’

Harry was incredibly stunned. He never would have guessed what the real prophecy was.

“Does this mean…”

“Yes, Harry. You are my soul mate. I have been loving you for ages, watching you grow up. Today, the time has come. See?” He dropped down the six Horcruxes and destroyed them all in a flick of a wand. “I would give you my life. This is how much I love you.”

And to Harry’s surprise, Voldemort began to sing.

First I was afraid, I was petrified…

I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…

But then I spent so many nights…thinking how you did me wrong

I grew strongI learned how to carry on

Harry couldn’t help it. He couldn’t resist anymore. Instinctively, he followed.

So now you’re back…

From outer space…

I just walked in to find you herewith that sad look upon your face

Weren’t you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye

Did you think I’d crumble?

Did you think I’d lay down and die…?

And Voldemort replied Harry’s melodious tune.

Oh no I…

I will survive…

But then Voldemort stopped suddenly as he saw Harry’s face. Harry was laughing so loud. His finger was pointed at Voldemort, who stood still, enormously confused.

“Oh man… Oh man.. I’m just messing with you man..!!” cried Harry, still laughing.

Voldemort cast him a sad and disappointed look.

“Why? I even prepared a gift for you, Harry.”

Harry didn’t hear, for he couldn’t stop laughing. His tears were running down his cloak then.

“I can’t be with you, man! Sorry dude, but I love a woman. I love Ginny.”

And so the words hit Voldemort strongly and painfully. He grabbed his left chest. His face reflected pain and sorrow. Voldemort collapsed. He shook uncontrollably and then he’s still. Who would’ve thought Voldemort die for a heart attack?

Harry watched him still for a while. Poor Vol-Vol. The real prophecy was right, after all. Either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other refuses. It was Harry who killed Voldemort. It was the thing. It was love.

THE END